Greetings, Commrade!

Have you, dear commrade, ever yearned to support the Revolution, even while trapped under the yoke of exploitation and oppression in your capitalist country? Have you ever longed to join the mases to defeat, abolish, and dismantle the capitalist-imperialist systems that operate both in your own country and abroad? Have you ever, increasingly outraged by the continual outrages and injustices perpetrated by reactionaries around the world, longed to support vanguards of the revolutionary process?

Yearn no more, dear commrade. By buying our certified 100%-communist-made products, you can participate in the revolution from the relatively comfortable lifestyle gilded prison of your own capitalist country!

All of our entire line of products are made by peasants forced into slavery highly motivated workers laboring cheerfully in forced labor camps relocated communities.

While we cannot guarantee our products to be "cruelty free", communist work forces are world-renowned for quality and dedication. You can have as much faith in the quality of our products as you have in the veracity of revolutionary communist news sources. Armed with our products, your cooking will be the new opiate of the masses.

So what are you waiting for? Don't be a reactionary. Buy a certified communist product and sieze the means of production in your kitchen today!